Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines!

One of the hardest parts of being a writer is sticking to the deadlines. And, when they are stretched out before you, several months out, it is easy to ignore them.

"I'll get to that tomorrow...I have time."

Until tomorrow IS the deadline, and you still are no where near the Finish Line.

Procrastination is one of a writer's biggest foes. It is so easy to put things off, and so hard to focus on getting them done now. That is why I am struggling with three books to finish by the end of August...

That old saying "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today" is really good advice. But you can't do everything in one day either. Make a list of everything you need to do and prioritize it to get the big stuff done first. And it is best to write this list down, as checking things off or crossing them out is a great incentive.

Mix in a few quick and easy tasks here and there so you don't get completely discouraged, but keep your eye on the Big Picture so you don't run short of time.

It is okay to focus on one project at a time, but it is equally okay to do something from several projects in a day, as long as they all get completed on time.

Give yourself a workday. "I will write/edit/promote/clean house/etc. from 9 AM to 5PM" (if it is your entire job...) or "I will write two hours a day." (if that is all you have available.) And limit distractions for that time-frame. But don't work straight through on one project for eight hours without a break, because you stop seeing what you are editing, or miss things in your proofreading, etc, if you don't get up and at least circle the living room now and then.

And one of the things of extreme importance is reward yourself for milestones. (Even if it is something as simple as watching a rerun of America's Next Top Model...or catching Pokemon.)

If you can't tell, I am codifying this for myself as much as you, Gentle Reader! ;)

Three P's of Success

People are always making tip lists...well, here is another. The three things that will best help a writer in my opinion.

1) Prioritization -- Decide on your goals. What do you want to accomplish most?

Is your writing goal to write a novel? Okay! That's not hard. (Not promising that it will be a good novel, but you can write one.) Make a daily goal. Put it on the top of your To Do list -- Write 1500 words a day (or 1667, and you can get in shape for next year's NaNoWriMo...or start in late on this one--you can catch up.)

Want to write a poetry collection? Make a daily goal. Put it on the top of your To Do list -- Write a Poem a day. Baby steps.

Whatever you want to do is possible. Prioritize it along with the rest of your must dos for the day. Make it a daily habit, and you will be surprised what you can accomplish.


2) Perseverance -- Stick to the goals. It isn't always easy, but nothing worth doing is.

Do that daily goal first thing in the morning. Or last thing at night, if you work better then. Some days, you won't feel like it. Those are the days it is most important to get it done.

If you do miss a day, don't let it get you down. But don't let it slow you down either. Make up the missed day as soon as you can. The whole is greater than the some of its parts, remember. ;)


3) Persistence -- It's similar to Perseverance, but to me, it's not the same. Remember my personal mantra from Galaxy Quest -- "Never give up. Never surrender." Where perseverance gets the work written, persistence is what gets it out there. Once your work is finished, send it to potential markets, self-publish it, whatever you want to do--but get it in front of people.

Remember that sometimes you don't get a homer on your first at bat. You will get rejected. It's part of the business. Don't let it get you down.

I highly recommend the immersion therapy of sending things out until rejection is just another email. You get to the point where you say, "Oh well." But you send it out again. Sure, there will be some rejections that sting more than others--mourn and go on. Send it out again by the end of the day if you can.


So, there are the Three P's for you. 1) Prioritize; 2) Persevere; 3) Persist.

Go forth and write!

Unusual Settings in Horror: Making Weird Work for You

Like so many people during this month, I'm in the mood for horror and spooky stories. Don't get me wrong, I love the traditional stuff - haunted houses, cemeteries, empty countrysides, creepy small towns, and desolate, winding roads. Sometimes, though, a change of scene can be nice. I love the thought process that Alien was a haunted house movie set in space. Although we're used to the trope of bizarre things happening in modern settings now, Poltergeist was creepy because the hauntings took place in a brand-new subdivision. Look at the diversity in the haunted house industry: there are mazes set in gothic settings and woodland paths, sure, but let's not forget the evil circuses, bogeyman-infested bayous, sinister swamps, macabre meat-packing plants and minimarts, and any other setting you could think of. If it exists, it can be made creepy, I can tell you that from personal experience. Not only does it give a person pause about what's safe and what isn't (which is a huge purpose of horror), but it also makes you appreciate all that can be done with the genre.

I love working with time periods and places that people may not expect the horror genre to touch. What's great about writing is that what seems obvious to me may not be obvious to Fred down the street, or vice versa. All our different interests and experiences lead to some really different, interesting titles. And if they're creepy as hell, even better.

I grew up near the woods. Either I had friends who lived on a decent amount of land or we were near enough to always be hiking through different state parks, and it wasn't unusual that evening drives took us down winding roads where trees looked like they wanted to tear right through the guardrail and get at the cars that passed them by. While forests are peaceful, there's also something inherently claustrophobic about them, especially at night. It's easy to get lost in the trees, and also very easy to be taken unawares, especially by something stronger or more animalistic than you are.

I'm also a history nerd, and I love tales of pioneer America, people working hard to survive and care for their families, doing what they can to stay just a little bit ahead. Their sense of community, faith, morals, and family could be unshakable. At the end of the day, though, they were at the mercy of nature or whatever else life threw at them.

Naturally, that combination just made me want to mess with fictional pioneers and see what would bring a hearty cast to their knees.

Yeah, I wonder about me, too.

Essentially, it's the same kind of logic that made War of the Worlds so terrifying at the time it came out - what if there was something that you just couldn't fight? Remember, the original wasn't the Tom Cruise fest with modern, easy outs. There was a much bigger gap between alien technology and everyday people. In my own work, I wanted to play with people's natural superstitions, and something that might actually be found in the woods, which can be a dangerous and creepy place, anyway. I've also always been interested in lumber culture because I have weird interests, and the term mooner took me by surprise. It's not used often, and I've not seen it filled out very much, other than to allude to some mythical creature that haunts the woods.

Bingo.

That could be a lot of things, and I suppose the obvious choice would have been werewolves, but I really liked the idea of mooners as vampires. After all, in a time period where you're forced to depend on those around you, what happens when your neighbors aren't exactly trustworthy and there's no one else for miles, and travelling miles could take days?

At the end of the day, setting and time period don't really matter. Our fears are primarily the same, we're still wired the same as humans, and react the same way to fear. The fun comes in the research, when you can find specifics to a time period or place that you can play with in your story, making things even harder for your characters and fun for your readers.

It's a lot to think about and a lot to work with. At the end of the day, I'm happy with how the story turned out, but whether it's effective or not is ultimately up to the readers.

So how bout you? What are your favorite unusual settings or time periods in horror?

Historical Horror/Vampire

Kindle         Nook      MMP Store

Like many young men at the end of the 1800s, Bill signed on to work in a logging camp. The work is brutal, but it promised a fast paycheck with which he can start his life. Unfortunately, his role model is Big John. Not only is he the camp’s hero, but he’s known for spending his pay as fast as he makes it. On a cold Saturday night they enter Red’s Saloon to forget the work that takes the sweat and lives of so many men their age. Red may have plans for their whiskey money, but something else lurks in the shadows. It watches and badly wants a drink that has nothing to do with alcohol. Can Bill make it back out the shabby door, or does someone else have their own plans for his future?

Persevere!

Today, I am going to show you something that might seem a bit off topic. And, frankly disgusting...I admit that. But in the end, you will see how it relates to writing, and never giving up on the dream!

Okay, so our bathroom shower has a textured floor. I could NOT keep it clean. Finally, I gave up. After straight bleach didn't work, I despaired of ever getting it clean again. At the worst, it looked like this:

I warned you...disgusting! (I know, you want nothing to do with me ever again, now...)

But I kept trying. I tried EVERYTHING I could think of. And I finally hit on the trick. Dow Scrubbing Bubbles, left on for hours before rinsing. (They say a few minutes, but hours work better. I have been spraying them on in the morning after our showers and leaving them till bedtime.)

Little by little, it began to get better. Last night, when I rinsed the floor, it looked like this:

As you can see, there is still work to be done, but the difference is AMAZING!

But what does this have to do with writing, you ask? It's a metaphor, son...

A lot of times, our first drafts are like the Before picture. Nasty, ugly, wretched things that you feel a bit embarrassed to show your best friend, much less the world. You feel like giving up. It's too much work to figure out a way to fix it. You try everything, and nothing makes it better.

But somewhere, underneath all that crud is something clean and lovely. "Never give up, never surrender!" as the Galaxy Quest cast would say.

Keep trying things. 

Maybe you need a new point-of-view. Try rewriting it in first person instead of third.

Maybe you are telling the story from the wrong character's perspective. Try rewriting it in another character's voice.

Polish and elbow grease are the best tools for success. Tweak one aspect of the story and send it to a pair of fresh eyes. What does your new beta reader say?

Don't forget the rich tradition of rejection after rejection until an author hits the right editor at the right moment and becomes a Household Word. :)

And don't forget that crucial step of letting a project rest for awhile before doing more clean-up. It can save you a draft or two. ;)

Above all, persevere! 

July Snuck Up on Me!

Did I get my June ambition met? Nope. How about you?

I got a bit of writing done, but no cleaning. That seems to be my lot in life.

Maybe this month I will do better, but don't hold your breath. Too many exciting writing things to do! Will have at least one, if not two, books debuting at ArmadilloCon at the end of the month.

Have hit and passed the two hundredth submission for the year.

But I can still be brought up short by the power of someone else's work and say "Why can't I write like that?" We can all keep learning, striving, and improving. No matter how many books we have written or submissions we have made.

I finished The Grave Tender this morning. If you haven't read it, do so at once. It is a wonderful example of craft. I had to immediately write the author an email and tell her how humble it made me feel. I want to write like that.

I know an email like that would make my day. I hope it made hers.

Then I started a book on How To Write Horror and Dark Fantasy. Not because I never have--I just finished a dark short and sent it in--but because I know I can always do it better.

If you are a writer, you can never stop learning your craft. I don't care how many publications you have under your belt, you can always do better. If you forget that, you are doing yourself an extreme disservice.

Keep writing. Keep learning. Keep growing. It keeps you young--and humble. ;)

Being a REAL Writer is Tough Work!

That title might annoy some people...but it says what I want to stress. Being a real writer isn't as easy as writing a book. And I am not saying that it applies to anyone but me. However, since I am the only person I can speak for, it is true for me.

I started calling myself a professional writer in 2000 when my first novel was published. I was quite proud to finally be able to claim that title after all the years I had wanted it.

For the next twelve years I considered myself a professional writer...

But it wasn't until three years ago that I actually started acting like it.

I have talked about this before, but it bears repeating, because it is a lesson that can't be stressed enough. You aren't a real writer unless you write.

And it isn't enough to write. You have to do something with what you write. You can't just pop it in a drawer and expect to be famous someday.

I've told you about my rejection challenge. First year three hundred rejections, last year two hundred.
Trying to meet this challenge gave me incentive to write more than I ever had in my life. It taught me that the more you write, the easier it is to be polished, and the quicker a polished draft appears.

This year, I've upped the game. It didn't start out to be a thing, but after I got started on this year's challenge, it has become a point of honor. This year, I have challenged myself to make a submission a day.

Now, I know what being a writer really is. It's exhausting. It means writing a LOT. It means making connections. It means perseverance. It means not letting a rejection bother you--but looking at it as an opportunity to get another submission out the door.

And, as a side benefit, the piece you get rejected today might be perfect for the next market you send it to. I've almost hit the absolute bottom of my orphan pieces. Stories that had been out four, five, six times finally found the perfect home.

Set what looks/feels like an impossible goal. Work to achieve it. Nothing feels better than making that goal. And even if you don't make it, as long as you are working to achieve it, you are working. And that is what makes a REAL writer. :)

If you want to see how my personal goal is going this year, follow me on Twitter at @RieSheridanRose and #howlongcanitgo

So far, I've made 62 submissions this year.

Going Collective

I have always been fascinated by the fact that a group of crows is a murder. Who first decided that this was the correct name for a collection of the carrion birds? I don't know, but their imagination was so spot on.

We know--and expect--certain collective nouns. A herd of horses, a school of fish, a pride of lions. But you can really spice up your writing with some of the more unusual ones. It is always easiest to find the animal congregations. A good list can be found here. But animals aren't the only groups of nouns. There are also names for groups of people and things. Some of those more uncommon nouns can be found here.

Let's have some fun. Can you match the group to their collective noun -- without looking?

clowns                                                                    blush                                                                          
bishops                                                                   field
doctors                                                                   bench
zombies                                                                  mutiny                                                                    
boys                                                                       stench

or what about these?

baboons                                                                 romp
cats                                                                        mob
geese                                                                     tribe
otters                                                                     clowder
kangaroos                                                              skein


But not all group nouns have been given names yet, and you can have a lot of fun with those. For example, in one of my short stories, I had a group of cheerleaders, and I wanted to refer to them with a collective noun. They became a "giggle of cheerleaders." I was extremely proud of that one. ;)

Remember, a little goes a long way--especially with some of the more esoteric combinations, such as an "implausibility of gnus." This is a spice to use sparingly, but it can really add something to the mix.

(I will give you the answers next time. ;) )

Lumberjacks, Vampires, and Writing What You Know.

'Write what you know' has to be one of the most-given pieces of writing advice in the entire history of the craft. I remember really hating this as a teenager. I mean, what had I done in life? All I wanted to do was crank out some story so I could pass some class or another, and they wanted me to write what I knew and slant it to some theme or assignment that I couldn't even choose? Bleh. I knew nothing in the scheme of things except living in what I perceived to be a boring town and going to school. As I grew I still remained somewhat ruffled about this piece of advice, even as I wrote for fun, because I liked writing speculative fiction and there's no way you can "know" that sort of thing, right?

Yeah, I can be an elitist idiot that takes things literally at times. 

Now, I realize how lucky I've been to have the experiences I've had - no matter how mundane. Every little interaction, every emotion, every experience is fodder for something and has the potential to be magic. Plus, I consider my insatiable curiosity one of my better traits. Both come in handy when I'm writing fantasy and horror. Don't believe me? Let me explain (Come on, you had to be expecting this, otherwise it would be a very short and pointless blog entry).

As a kid I harbored a deep and burning grudge that my parents got to pick our summer vacation choices. I was convinced I must have been a serial killer in a past life. As we cruised down the American highways I would always collect brochures at rest stops and dream of what it must be like to have parents who loved me. After all, only heartless maniacs would pass up waterparks, amusement parks, giant malls, pointless roadside attractions, and other obvious vacation spots for every historical site that could possibly enrich my mind and raise my history grade (that didn't need raising, thanks). I would sigh and fondle over those brochures and hope against hope that Gettysburg was closed during the week or maybe every worker in every historical site in Philidelphia would go on strike or something. 

To be fair, this resentment usually lasted a couple of days until we were actually well into our vacation. It probably didn't help that we were crammed into a small tent trailer and at least one of my parents has an overpowering sense of humor that does not do well in enclosed spaces, especially when paired with a kid who wants to read or listen to music or sleep and dream about whatever power ranger is dreamiest or something (Who knows. That was ten million years ago). 

Eventually, though, I would lighten up and enjoy myself. Truth be told, we probably shouldn't have done most of the Revolutionary and Civil War battle sites in the same trip; to this day I still tend to get a lot of them mixed up. There is also the story embedded in family folklore about the time when I was like four and we went to Mesa Verde and somehow everyone thought it was a good idea to go on a tour that involved actually climbing ladders and hand and foot holds up the canyon walls and across the pueblos. (Also to be fair, these were fenced in and I was flanked by both parents and the park guide. Still, retelling this story is guaranteed to give my relatives heart palpitations). There were other adventures I was probably guilty of - the same trip out west might have involved a trip to the dinosaur museum in Utah that featured a dig site at the time and because I saw it on Reading Rainbow I may have tried to make a break for it so I could climb up to the fossils and be at one with the dinosaurs (hey, they let Levar Burton do it on TV...). There may have been one museum visit in Peoria where we stayed right up until closing and I may have been almost locked in with an exhibit of an exposed burial mound that revealed hundreds of exposed skeletons. To this day I remember the panic of trying to find the door as the minutes ticked down until five, caught between the vertigo of an outdoor balcony that was fairly high up, and the madness of having to walk right by this gigantic room full of exposed full skeletons. I was eight. When I read the Bradbury story "The Next in Line" I actually broke out in a cold sweat remembering my own experience. 

By the time I was a pre-teen, though, I began to get fascinated with some of the mundane aspects of history. I really liked hearing about what it was like in the everyday life of different Native American tribes or the colonists before the Revolutionary War. I liked learning about miners, and to this day some of my favorite books are by Laura Ingalls Wilder (including her journalism collection and her diaries). Admittedly, though, my mind tended to wander and I was always adding my own flair to things. I remember distinctly during the Philadelphia trip wondering what it would be like if the displaced ghost of Benjamin Franklin was the one giving us the tour, and I probably added my own flair to many other trips that I'm not remembering. There was at least one trip I spent sketching disturbing looking trees that Brian Froud would be proud of. Still, there is something to be said for the hardcore lives these everyday people lived. The adversity they had to put up with is incredible. When I read about pioneers, the Dust Bowl, or any number of hardships that make up American history, I'm humbled. I mean even back as a teen I recognized that I was a huge wuss. It also doesn't help that part of my family history has had books written about it, which just goes to prove that I am a definite wuss and a disgrace to all those that came before me who could survive in the wild in subzero temperatures without even a blanket and walk away like it was nothing.

So it probably isn't a huge surprise that I would still be fascinated with reading about the everymen of American history: the miners, farmers, pioneers, laborers, and lumberjacks. I remember reading the books of Lilian Jackson Braun, who also tends to gravitate to similar topics (though without the ghosts and evil trees), in my adult years and really began to wonder if I could do something with that particular interest of mine in a speculative sense. But what?

There are many elements of speculative fiction I "know," not because I've lived them, but I am a huge geek and darn proud of it. I was perusing different educational sites about lumber camps and came across the entry "mooner." While not really defined, it referred to a supernatural creature that haunted lumber camps.

This fit in nicely with the speculative things that I geek out over...specifically, vampires. I love vampires. I love reading new takes on them, I love the movies, I love the folklore. Not everything vampire is good, and I appreciate when people know the mythos and work with it instead of against it. Barring this, I like when people use vampirism as a metaphor or backdrop for something else. I'm not one of those who outright prefer evil vampires over vampire romance or urban fantasy smooth criminal vamps over mindless feeding corpse-like vamps or old school Dracula/Gothic types. If it's done well, if it works, then I'm willing to give it a chance. Still, I like my vampires to use their teeth, and I think playing the moral grey area is always interesting. I think there can be romance mixed in with bloodshed, there can be mindfulness mixed in with a hunting mindset. It's the contradiction that makes things tense, and it's the knowledge that you're never going to win against something like that that makes the genre so full of possibility.

While maybe not an obvious choice, I like the use of vampires as metaphor, the thought of them being like Nietzsche's superman, but with teeth. I also like thinking about what happens when a normal person is tossed into that type of lifestyle and has to make reason of all the horrible things they're expected to do to survive (or is it any worse than any other pioneer trying to survive in an unsettled country?). 

That time period and life in the lumber camps was hard enough as it was...what if there was something bigger and badder than the strongest lumberjack? What if there was something to balance out all the shenanigans that tended to go on in the saloons during the weekends? What if there were motives bigger than the obvious, a subtle game being played, although it could never be won? It was an intriguing thought, and when put together with the historical aspect, I suddenly had a really interesting concept. Not only that, but the blend of bad boy lumberjack, innocent newcomer, well-meaning townspeople, and this sense of "other"...well that was too good to pass up.

Now I still had to look up things, I still had to do my research. Still, I can't help but think this story would never have come about if I hadn't gravitated to my own love of history and tendency to warp things to my whim (As you can imagine, my parents just love knowing what was in my head during all those family trips). 

Curious to see how all of this could come together? Well you'll just have to read the book to find out!

Kindle    Mocha Memoirs Press

Like many young men at the end of the 1800s, Bill signed on to work in a logging camp. The work is brutal, but it promised a fast paycheck with which he can start his life. Unfortunately, his role model is Big John. Not only is he the camp’s hero, but he’s known for spending his pay as fast as he makes it. On a cold Saturday night they enter Red’s Saloon to forget the work that takes the sweat and lives of so many men their age. Red may have plans for their whiskey money, but something else lurks in the shadows. It watches and badly wants a drink that has nothing to do with alcohol. Can Bill make it back out the shabby door, or does someone else have their own plans for his future?

Hand Beneath the Pump

If you have seen or read "The Miracle Worker," you know that there is a moment when Annie Sullivan is trying to teach Helen Keller that the signs she keeps making in her hands mean something. As they stand beside the pump, and Annie runs water into Helen's hand, wearily signing "water"over and over, suddenly--a lightbulb goes off in Helen's head, and she makes the connection that has been eluding her all along.

Why am I bringing it up? I had one of these "watershed moments" the other day about my writing, and I think it is worth sharing.

My husband refuses to critique anything I write. He says I can't take criticism, and I have spent more than ten years arguing that I can take constructive criticism, that I am getting better at accepting edits all the time...but I have been wrong. If anyone suggests something I don't agree with in their edits, I argue or justify, or ignore it. I can be a terrible editing subject.

As I was in tears over an edit I thought was asking way too much by way of rewrites, my husband said quietly, "You know why the QA department loves me?" (He's a computer programmer.) "Because I know they are trying to make my code the best it can be; that I might have missed something that would make it better; and I listen to what they have to say."

I thought about what he was saying. Really thought about it. And, for the first time, the analogy made sense to me. Editors are a writer's QA department. They see things we might not. They understand things we don't. We need to listen to them. Without whining about it. :) I made the changes they were asking for...and you know what...they were right. It was a stronger story for them.

(Okay, I may be a little self-serving, as I am about to go into editor mode....lol. Don't forget about our new Steampunk anthology, now open for submissions.)

Preparing For A Reading - The Nightmare Scenario

This past weekend I went to Anthocon, a horror convention in New Hampshire. I was scheduled for a reading at 1:30 pm on Sunday for half an hour. I haven't done very many readings so here is how I prepared for it.

1. Had nightmares the week of the reading that I stood in front of everyone naked.

2. Had nightmares the week of the reading that I went to read from my Kindle when it was out of power.

3. Had nightmares the week of the reading that I left my printed copies at home so I had nothing to read.

So, I was off to a great start.

To alleviate these feelings of sheer terror, I stood in front of a mirror and read the first page of one of my stories. I was fine as long as I didn't trip over my tongue. I also made sure I had a glass of water handy for the inevitable dry mouth. Note to self: bring bottled water to the reading for when I inevitably became parched.

Another lesson: I read the first page of another story and enunciated as I read. The exercise gave me one hell of a mouth cramp but it worked.

Still another lesson: S L O W   D O W N! When nervous, I read at machine gun speed. If I put my mind to it, I can sound like a carnival barker or an auctioneer, which may be entertaining but isn't conducive to people enjoying what I'm reading.

Yet another lesson: BREATHE! I noticed I could go for several sentences without taking a single breath. By the time I needed to breathe, I felt like I was suffocating. My chest tightened and I felt as if someone rubbed the insides of my lungs with a scouring pad. So after each comma and period, I made a point of remembering to breathe.

By the time I mastered reading, I had slowed my pace, breathed at regular intervals, and became familiar enough with my stories to look up as if making eye contact with my audience. My speech was clear and easy to understand.

By the time Friday rolled around I was ready for my precious half hour. I even hoped to sell a few books. The best part was those awful nightmares stopped. A little confidence goes a long way.

Where to find me on the web:

Blog and Web Site

http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com/

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Twitter

http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Amazon Author Page

http://www.amazon.com/~/e/B00BBWHMFM

What I Do For Inspiration

Elizabeth Black writes erotic and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and cats. Look for her short story "Alicia", published by Mocha Memoirs Press, at Amazon.

-----

I like to challenge myself by writing stories that are outside my comfort zone. I'm worknig on one now in which the  primary theme is war. I've decided to tackle the Angels of Mons story, a legend that took place in 1914. It never actually happened, and it's based on a fictitious story too many people took for reality. Think of reactions to the radio show "The War Of The Worlds" and you have the right idea.

The Angels of Mons is quite a fascinating story. This legend supposedly took place during the battle of Mons during World War I. It involves German forces pushing back the British to the point that the British were going to lose the battle. British troops prayed to Saint George, patron saint of cavalry and soldiers, and in response the heavens unleashed a torrent of angels holding bows and arrows to drive the Germans away from the British, causing the Germans to retreat, thereby winning the battle for the British. Here's a famous painting of the Angels of Mons.

In order to inspire myself, I read period literature and, in this case history. I find the more familiar and comfortable I am with a subject, the easier it is for me to write about it. I've read the original story "The Bowmen", which is the basis for the Angels Of Mons story. The story also has a Lovecraftean edge, so those Angels aren't angels. They're the Old Ones! I've been rereading my Lovecraft books lately to get in the mood for this story.

Other things I do for inspiration is to listen to uplifting and trippy music. I like techno and trance, especially when I'm writing. I walk on the beach nearly every day, and listening to the ocean surf and walking in the waves helps to clear my head. I live on the Massachusetts coast, and the beaches here are like something out of a Daphne du Maurier novel. I drink my coffee while walking on the beach, and I'm going to keep doing it until it gets too cold to go outside. Considering the effects of global warming, I may be able to return to the beach more often this autumn and winter than I have been in years past. I sure hope so! I love walking on the beach.

So there you have it. I don't wait for inspiration. I actively seek it. I do my best work when I don't fight my muse.

Things You Don't Say To A Writer On A First Date

Let's say you're going out on your very first date with someone. For sake of argument, you're a guy and your date is female. You've reserved a table at a nice restaurant. You bought tickets for the latest hot action movie. A bouquet of spring flowers is sitting in your hot little hand.

The problem is - oh, my God! - you have to talk to her! What on earth do you say?

Here's the problem. She's a writer. You know little about writers except for your impression that most are insane alcoholics who live in garrets. You have no idea what to say to break the ice. Here are a few tips as to what to not say to a writer. If you say or ask any of the following you're likely to get a snarky response, like the first few examples.

1. "Have you written anything I've read?"

Answer:" I doubt it. I don't write for TV Guide."

2. Will you put me in your book?

Answer: "You don't irritate me enough for me to kill you in one of my books."

3. "So you write erotic romances. Wanna fuck?"

Answer: "Sure, but not you."

4. "Would you edit my book for free?"

Answer: "Sure. You're a doctor, and I have this ache. May I stop by your office and have you look at me for free?"

5. [From a painter] "Got any free books to give away?"

Answer: "Would you give me one of your paintings for free?"

The free thing really gets under my craw. Why do so many people think they can get works out of writers for free? You wouldn't ask a doctor for a free checkup. You wouldn't ask a plumber to fix your pipes free of charge. You don't go to a restaurant, eat a nice meal, and then expect to not have to pay for your food. Why expect a writer to create some elbow grease and not pay her for it? Even Craiglist ads either outright say "non-paying", or you find the ads looking for writers that want you to send a resume ... AND write a "test article" or "test story" to see if you're writing is a match for that company. Don't fall for it. Those companies are farming for free material, and you'll never get hired let alone paid.

Here are other examples of what to not say to a writer on your first date.

6. When are you going to get a real job?

7. "Oh, I'm thinking of writing a book, too." And then spend the next hour and a half describing it in full, boring detail.

8. "Oh, I think erotic romances are porn."

9. "So you're a writer... I mean what do you do to make money?"

10. "What did you think of "50 Shades Of Grey"?"

So now you know what to not say if you want a second date. Good luck!

-----

E. A. Black Black writes erotica, erotic romance, speculative fiction, fantasy, and horror. She also enjoys writing retellings of classic fairy tales. Born and bred in Baltimore, she grew up under the influence of Edgar Allan Poe. Her erotic fiction has been published by Mocha Memoirs Press, Xcite Books (U. K.), Circlet Press, Ravenous Romance, Scarlet Magazine (U. K.), and other publishers. Her horror fiction has appeared in "Kizuna: Fiction For Japan", "Stupefying Stories", "Zippered Flesh 2: More Tales Of Body Enhancements Gone Bad", "Midnight Movie Creature Feature 2", and "Mirages: Tales From Authors Of The Macabre". An accomplished essayist, she was the sex columnist for the pop culture e-zine nuts4chic (also U. K.) until it folded in 2008. Her articles about sex, erotica, and relationships have appeared in Good Vibrations Magazine, Alternet, CarnalNation, the Ms. Magazine Blog, Sexis Magazine, On The Issues, Sexy Mama Magazine, and Circlet blog. She also writes sex toys reviews for several sex toys companies.

In addition to writing, she has also worked as a gaffer (lighting), scenic artist, and make-up artist (including prosthetics) for movies, television, stage, and concerts. She worked as a gaffer for "Die Hard With A Vengeance" and "12 Monkeys". She did make-up, including prosthetics, for "Homicide: Life On The Street". She is especially proud of the gunshot wound to the head she had created with makeup for that particular episode. She also worked as a prosthetic makeup artist specializing in cyanotic blue, bruises, and buckets of blood for a test of Maryland's fire departments at the Baltimore/Washington International Airport plane crash simulation test. Yes, her jobs are fun.  ;)

She lives in Lovecraft country on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and four cats. The ocean calls her every day, and she always listens. She has yet to run into Cthulhu.

Visit her web site at http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com/

Her Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Follow her at Twitter: http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack