E. A. Black writes horror, dark fiction, and fantasy. She writes erotica and erotic romance under the pen name Elizabeth Black. Ms. Black lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband and four cats. You may find her on Facebook or on her web site.
I'm in the middle of a work in progress called "Longing" that is taking a lot out of me. I think it's one of the best things I've ever written. I'm a very private, almost secluded person so writing from the gut like this isn't easy for me. I doubt it's easy for anyone, though. I usually go for much more light-hearted fare, although my story "Alicia" is far from light-hearted. It's horror romance, after all.
I wondered what it would feel like to lose someone who is failing right in front of me and there is nothing I can do about it. Watching someone I love die before my eyes would be too much for me to bear. My husband has already told me if he ever came down with dementia and got to the point where he needed help cleaning himself and could no longer think properly, he wouldn't want to live. I have no idea what I would do if I were in that situation. If I had the ability to upload our memories, desires, and our very being into an A. I. would I do it? What would I really upload? Would it be him or what I wished he would be?
Here is an excerpt:
Longing overwhelmed me as my mind drifted. I needed Eric in my life but it hadn't been easy. He'd lost so much over the past four years. I did what I could to make him more comfortable but each day brought new worries. To see him on this beach, our favorite hangout when he was able to walk, was the only solace I could get amid long stretches of despondency watching him draw farther and farther away from me; not willingly of course, but we both expected that. It didn't make his regression any easier to deal with, though. Knowing how little time we had left, we uploaded our cloned minds into the Cloud so we could be together as we once had been - alive and vibrant.
As he jogged towards me from up ahead, arm waved in greeting, my heart soared at our new day in the sun. Forget about the i.v.s, his emaciated body, and the fading memories. Here in our special place he is vibrant and gloriously alive with energy and love for me. On this beach I'm his Sunshine, and I always will be.
"Sunshine! I've missed you so much," He said as he wrapped me in his strong arms. He nibbled on my ear and kissed my throat. I craved the feel of his arms around me, but with a flash of insight I realized he never nibbled on my ears or kissed my throat. I had always wanted him to do both but he never did. How much of the A. I. was Eric as he really was versus what I wished he would be? I wondered if I missed the real Eric or if I missed what we never had?
I can only write about 800 words at a time before I'm overwhelmed. Getting to my soul as I write hasn't been easy but I'm able to do it.